Well maybe there is a something at the end of the tunnel

I am trying a new regreem.  It consists of taking magneseum and iodine.  I started the magneseum a couple o weeks ago and started on an iodine supplement here yesterday.  So far so good.  I went down a few pounds and I am not feeling as sore and tired as I usually do. 

There was a few days in there but that was because I was working a couple of eight hour shifts and my hubby decided that I should do a little more exercise.  He took me on a walk that is longer then I usually walk.  By the time night rolled around and I was working, boy was I getting sore and stiff.  well it seems that after four days I am finally getting back to normal.  Well for what normal is for me.

Anyways I think that these two pills are working for me.  There are days but they are far and inbetween right now.  I am almost human again.  Mind you they may not be for everyone but for me they seem to be working just fine.  I haven't taken any pain killers in over a month now.  Well that is a lie.  I had a headache one day and had to take something before the migrain started.  I think this is pretty good for me.  For over the past year and half that was all I was taking and I was getting down in the dumps and the pain just kept getting worse and I just didn't feel like doing anything.

I have also cut down on some of the junk I have been ingesting as well.  Chocolate, which seemed to be a mainstay for me lately is down allot and also I use to drink a few bottles of the diet drink as well.  This is what was probaly taking away my magneseum.  The aspertaim.  But now I regulate what I am putting into my body.  yeah I still have some once in while but have cut back allot.  That could have been the cause of the migraine.  The lack of aspertaim in my system.  or the lack of pain killers I was taking and I was going into withdrawel.  Well as I say.  I do feel better. but there are days when I would still just love to crawl into bed and stay there.

So I'll give this another month before I head back to see the doc again.  tell her what I have been doing and then maybe she will give me shit or maybe she will not.  Don't know but what works for me is not doing me anymore harm then what I do when i take all those pain pills.

That just gave me an alcer.  Go figure.  well I seem to have that going pretty good too right now.  I can swallow again.  Food goes down without a tub of water.

so all around besides the few bad days I get once in while when I over do it.  I am doing great.  Hurray give myself a pat on the back.  Oh no that might hurt and flair up the fibramialgia.  Well I will take my chances.

Next month will tell.  Have another appointment with dentist to take care of the rest of my teeth and then the big bike ride for two weeks.  See how that goes.  Hubby is worried that we will get somewere and then I will have to take a plane home because I can't ride the bike anymore.  well just have to see how it goes.  I know this problem is along for the ride but I will give it my best shot and hope for the best.

Finally Sleepyness is gone

I 've been asleep or whoosy the past two days.  Not from being tired but from having some dental work done.

Oh gee that was a fun time.  I get in there at 8:30 in the morning and didn't get out of that chair until 5:30.

When I got there they put me into the chair.  Then covered me with a blanket.  Tucked me in nice and cosey,  Then gave me three pilles in a cub and two more mixed in with some orange juice. YUK!!! The next thing they did was layed me back so I was almost up side down.  Here is when first problem started.  My back just went into spasems.  I could feel my lower back and hips start to hurt and then between my shoulder blades really started joining in.  I have to move and wiggle and hopefully get into a comfortable position.  Well to now availe on that.  Then they ask are you getting sleepy yet.  NO I hurt too dang much.  So they went and got me a towel to see if that would ease the pain.  Not much better.  You know I could sit up for a minute or two until drugs take effect.  No to much risk of you falling over.  So I had to lay in that position.  Lovely.  So finnaly they thought of getting me massage pillow and warming it up.  Helped a little.  Took the tention off my neck and made my back feel a little better.

After a few minutes just don't remember anything until I started to awake around 3:30.  That is when I noticed that they were still drilling and such.  Oh heavens I hate that sound.  It just went on and on  and on.  I am fully awake now.  Oh please let me go back to sleep.  I think I may have dosed a little more but kept waking up to that dang awful drilling.  Finnally that stopped and they tried putting in the tempoary caps.  They got one in easily and the other one in easily but the third one Just wouldn't go were they wanted it to.  No snapping on without pushing into my gums.  Dang that hurt.  Just a few more minutes and we will get this right.  Yeah right this is my mouth you are playing with here.  So a little more carving off of the cap and try again.  Well it is in there now I still don't think it is right.  Hopefully when the new caps come in they will fit a little better.  So the work they did today was on my left side.  Top and bottom and bottom front.  You mean I have to do this again to do the other side?  OH come on!!!  Once is enough.

Finally it is 5:30 and I want to sit up.  No you can't do that.  You may be too unstable.  The problem is unstable or not I want to get my back were it is not hurting.  So whether they like it or not I say I am sitting up.  So two ladies stood there and made sure I didn't fall over.  Up okay but am very light headed.  Boy does that feel funny.  World is spinning but my back feels better.

My ride is finally here to pick me up.  Now they want me to pay.  Excuss me!  I can't even concintrate on standing up and walking and you want me to do an interact.  I said I will come tomorrow and pay when i am coherant.  Well at least they took that as an okay to leave.  Didn't even get to walk out of there.  A nice ride in a wheel chair.  Out and over the ramp and down  to the car.  Next thing.  Getting out of chair to get in car.  Head spinning the whole time.  Lovely ride home.  The world is going places and I am not.

Well I finally get home.  Aw no more ride in a wheel chair.  had to walk in the house. That was the longest walk of my life right there. So now having not eaten anything since the night before I had to try and eat something.  To get something in my stomach.  A little soup is all I could do.  Then I went and layed on the couch.  Oh world stop spinning.  I have had enough.  It is eight o clock and I am going to bed.

You know that is the best night sleep I have had in a long time.  Slept until 7 oclock the next day.  Still a little whoosey,  Now the problem is I have to face a day at work.  And a morning shift to boot.  Boy was that a long day.  Glad it wasn't busy were I was.  But kept myself busy so I wouldn't think about anymore sleep. Came home and did the best thing I thought possible.  I went back to bed again.  Woke up a couple of hours before any of the family got home and wanted supper.

Well that was the trying experince with the dentist.  I really don't like this desease as it is rotting my teeth.  I had pretty good teeth up until now.  Only a couple of cavities in 20 years.  Now I have to get a mouth full done and have them drilled down to were they have caps on them.  Should just pull them all out and then I don't have to do this again.  Yeah but then I have to deal with dentures or gumming everything.  Well that would be a way to loose some weight.  I can't eat I should be able to loose weight.  Or starve to death.

So now until next time.  Another appointment at the end of July.  At least I think that is when it will be.  Oh goody.  More sleep for me.  But they still have to look after the rest of my teeth.  I think I could livewith the cavities thank you.  Yeah I know rotten teeth do not look very good.  So I guess I have to go back.  To get new caps on and fill the rest of the holes that are forming on the other side.  Great.

well an update for now I know boring

Okay I had this all done in my head then now that I am sitting down at the computer it is all gone.  Another frog has come to visit.  So now what do I have to say.

Well I am feeling a little better as of right now.  The frogs have gone on a vacation but I know they will soon be back.  You know they sneak up on you and you start doing the strangest things you thought possible.  You run into things or maybe you get awfully forgetful or just plane act stupid for no reason at all.  well I do that all the time anyways.  I have explained in a previous blogg if you are looking for something else to read.

My body is telling me it is time to gain weight again... But why.  I liked the weight I was at.  would have like to loose some more but it seem not to be in the cards.  This past two months have brought ten pounds back to my waistline.  What is with that.  Now I have to figure out what has changed and start back fresh again.  I exercise every day.  I eat right which I haven't changed any of except maybe cutting out on diet pop.  I haven't had as much as what I was drinking.  This is probably one of the reasons I am feeling a little better. The aspertaim is going out of my system.  Well I am hoping that is why i am feeling better.  There are days were I would just love to stay in bed with the covers over my head but that isn't in the cards either.  Too much to do around this place and it mostly all has to be done by me..  Yep wine, wine , wine thats me  Get the cheese ready to go with it because this is going to be one big wine feast.

Work the other day.  That was just a day from hell.  I had to work an eight hour shift and to top it all off the debit machines go down.. Hum not just in our store but all the stores on the system.  Most of the mall was out.  And it had to happen on a Saturday.  One day when allot of people want to do their shopping.  Customers were not too happy.  Me working in customer service got an earfull from allot of people.  this being a grocery store as well.  made it a doubly hard day for things.  Customers decided to leave their groceries at ends of counters big buggies full.  Stuff they couldn't afford to buy because they only had ten dollars in their wallets.  So the place was turning into a mess. To top it all off  the customers cleaned out the bank machine at the front of the store as well.   No money there to be had anymore either.

So someone had to go around collect up all of these graceries and put them away.  Well I was one of them.  I filled buggy after buggy and put them away.  That was allot of exercise for me.  running around, bending over picking up graceries off the floor and under tills and putting them in a buggy.  Taking them to the front and then putting them in bins at the front in their proper place to be put away.  I haven't moved that much in a while.  Yeah I felt it afterwards.  My arms and back were just burning.  Sleep that nigfht wasn't much better.  and the next day at work I could feel every place that a joint and muscle hurt.  Some times I just couldn't reaaly want to move.

well I am almost back to normal today.    I can still feel the stiffness in my back.  And my hip when I want to sleep is just the pitts.  Hopefully this will subside here in a couple of days.  Not a fun few days I will say.

I will let you in on a little known fact that I just didn't take to heart.  You better look after your teeth while you are able to.  Once you get this syndrom there is no turning back.  I had great teeth.  I haven't had a cavity since I was a kid and you know never brushing my teeth you get cavities.  Then I had two wisdoms pulled and that was it for me.  I brushed regularly and took care to see that that never happened again..  Well I spent 20 years with no problems after that.  Now all of a sudden I am back to the dentist and well here comes three root cannals and a bunch of fillings to be done.  This is going to cost me a fortune.  My teeth are going rotten as I speak.  here is another what is up with that.!!!  well at least I get to sleep throuhg the process.  It is all because of having no saliva in my mouth anymore.  So there is no way to fight off the decay and bacteria.  Lovely!!!  I got a new tooth paste that has more umpff in it.  Hopefully it will help out a bit.  My sleep tiome is next week so will let you know how that goes after I am done with it.  Can you say sore mouth all around.  I am not happy with this at all.

as i said before am feelong a little better.  I am not on any pain pills anymore.  I read in a book that if you take magnesium it will help with the joints and muscle.  And since I have oseto arthritis and Fribamialgia on top of that. I decided to give it a try.  You know for now it seems to be working.  I haven't had any pain pills in a couple of weeks.  My stamia is a little better  and the frogs have gone away.  Well they do come back on occasion, but only for short visits.  I do feel sore once in while but it is only a few twinges here and there..  My trouble right now is trying to get a good night sleep.  I wake up more times then not and getting to stay in bed first thing in the morning would be lovely as well.  But not going to happen anytime soon.  I just can't sleep anymore.  So up I get.  Tired and sleepy and get on with my day.  At least I can say i have gotten rid of some of the cemicals in my body and am working with natural stuff instead.

I have made an accomplishnet today. We have a hill that is fairly steep just over two raods from were I live.  Well I walked up it today without stopping.  When I was well I use to walk up it every day for exercise.  well I was not able to do it anymore without having to stop part way up and couple of times.  Today I did it all in one stride.  No stopping.  so proud of myself.  So now I will have to keep it up and do it a couple times a week.  With all the aches and pains and stiffness I couldn't do that anymore.  Now I can do it.  for hopw long I don't know but I know I can do it when i am feeling at a peak.  Good going Brenda  keep up the good work.  There is also a set of steps down the way a bit.  I guess it is time to tackle them again. I can do them but have to stop half way up.  So now that I am feeliing up to it I should try the whole flight again.  There is 70 steps to this flight to get up to other level of road.  So now tomorrow morning I will try them with out stopping.  Just hope I am not overdoing it while I am up to it.  Don't want to be flat on my back again suffering in pain. Well I wil see what tomorrow brings.

Anyway.  I better stop here and get on with the rest of my day.  Work lovely work is calling.

well another day another pile of (well you know)

Well I started a blog number three today.  gee what else have I got to do with my time.  Should be cleaning house,  Maybe working in the garage to finish some projects.  Maybe should be getting enough sleep.  I was up awful early this morning.  5 oclock to be exact.  What the heck is with that.

You know I am actually feeling a little better right now.  Stange but true.  I can move around without the moans and groans that usually accompany me.  Unless I think about what is going to be happening in the future.

They say now my stomach has turned to mush.  I have an ulcer and have to have it treated.  I shouldn't eat this I shouldn't eat that.  What fun is that.  I love chocolate and I really like to have a diet pop once in while.  Thay say it it not good for your tummy.

Okay so now they have me on a no win situation.  I have to take the pain killers in order to stop the pain.  But now I can't take the pain killer because it is eating away at the inside of my stomach.  I cal this a no win situation.

The other thing is in the next two weeks I have to go and have three root canals done.  Ouchie.  This is because there is no moisture in my mouth in order to keep the bateria down.  Great.I am really looking forward to that.  Sarcasm really intended there.  You know all my life I have never had problems with my teeth and now I am coming up with all sorts of problems.  Well thats a little lie there.  When I was a kid never brushed my teeth and always had to get cavities filled.  Then I learned and did the brushing.  Didn't stop me from having my wisdom taken away though.  Yeah l lost all four of them.  But other then that no real problems for 20 years and then this.  My whole mouth is going down the drain.  Literally.

Well that would include the rest of my body as well.  Doc told me the other day that I have Fribromyagia.  Yeah something else to add to the list.  Lets see  Start with Sjogrens syndrom.  Then ad in osteo arthritis.  then she comes up with rynards and dry mouth syndrom.  Tintinitus I have for year. I am having trouble in the pooh area now and figure it is probably irratable bowel syndrom  and then there is a little gout thrown in and now I have an ulcer.  Yeah  Isn't life just great.

well I did my whining for the day and will sign off for now.  Have been on compyuter most of the morning so time to find something else to do

I should be working on things But just don't have the Heart to do it lately

Yeah I am feeling down again.  I have tried to think about The funny things,
but they just don't seem to want to come at this time.

I was to a meeting the other day ( a support group) and all the ladies and
 one gent talked  about the downs and out of Arthritis.  Then one lady got up
 and said I live my life and arthriis is just along for my ride.

I think that is well said. So I started thinking  I am going to live my own life.
To HELL WITH THE ARTHRITIS!!!  I hurt some days and it takes away
from me in some ways but in others it gives me more insight into what I
should be doing.  I still don't know what i should be doing But I am trying to
figure that out.  My hubby and I have different ideas on the subject.  He
says just keep doing what you are doing.  The problem is if I keep doing
what i am doing i just hurt all the more and then am layed up for a few days.

So I started to pace myself and keep doing what i am doing but do it at a
slower pace and take some time over days to get it done seems to work
allot better for me.  Only problem is By the time I get that task done
I have to start all over again and start it all over.  I never get anytime to really
relax.

I should be down in the garage working on some woodworking project that
I know I have to finish here sometime or rather.  So I can try to sell it at some
farmers market sale.  Then there is the house work I should be doing around the house.
Not getting done either.  Well I did get the kitchen cleaned the other day
just to get told that I missed a spot or two on the counter..  The laundry got done. 
Hurray for that. Then it is back to work for another week were nothing will get 
done around the house.  This is non winning battle here and have no help at all.

If I do get a day were I putter in the garage.  Hubby wants to go do something
else.  he has asked me the past two days if I have stained his board yet. 
so he can get it put in a window and support the air conditioner..  I don't have
time to go down to the garage and do my own thing and he expects me to go down
to the garage and get his board stained up.  You know he could do it himself but
I don't think he ever will. unless he gets sick and tired of the idea that i am never
'going to get around to it because I am just so lazy that he has to break
down and do it himself.

I guess the biggest thing is I am a little run down right now.  I just got back from Ontario
were I attened a funeral for my borther in  law.  He was only 48.  Makes a few
 things come into prospective here. and is also depressing me right now.  You
ain't going to live forever.  so why even try sometimes.  That keeps going
 through my brain right now.

 I am also experincing some setbacks of my own..  I am having trouble either
with my teeth or in my glands in my neck.  I am having swelling that is causing
my teeth to just hurt so dang bad sometimes and others not to bad.
 I just got my third bladder infesction in the past eight months.  So am
 feeling kinda out of it with being on atibiotics and such.

In two weeks time I have to go to the dentist and make sure it is not my teeth
that are causing some of the discomfort.  Iknow they will have to be pulled
as i have now cavities around the gum line and I also have a couple of
 broken teeth.  One sideline of haveing Sjrogrens.  The dry mouth factor.
So teeth being pulled out and dentures in their place.  Lovely.  That is going
to be a process and an expence as well.  i don't look forward to this at all.

It will also take away from me being at work as much.  I don't get paid
when I don't work.  There is another set back.  No money can't pay
the bills. Yeah!  So more behind I will get,.  Brother.!!

Okay so I have been down enough.

Oh by the way.  You like my new picture at the top.  It is the way
I feel that I look sometimes.  That will be the two of us on the beach when
we head on our next holiday.  Cute couple hey?

Help my brain is turning to frog

Yeah that's what I mean.  It is turning to frog.

You know those big green frogs that live in your brain or the little ones on your shoulder and go ribit stick out their tounge like they are catching flies and grab any sense you have left. THWAK!

Some people call it brain fog. Well! I call it brain frog.  I know I have the sense, but sometimes it just elludes me.

Like the other day at work.  I sell cigerettes and do returns.  Well this customer wanted some Peter Jackson cigs and I promptly went to the cupboard that had Canadian in them grabbed one for him and sold it to him.  He looked at me like I was nuts.  Said that isn't peter jackson and I adamently looked at him and at the package and said yeah that is peter jackson.  It is just the new packageing.  So he looked at me again kinda strange.  So I looked at the package again and low and behold it was canadian and not peter jackson.  Appoligised up and down got him the right ones  Stupid! stupid! me.  That was a big green frog that just stuck out his tounge and lapped up everything that went along with this.  RIBIT! RIBIT! THWAK!

Another incident I had with a customer was I had to get a name and number from a customer to put in our computer to fill out info on a return.  All was going along great. Got her last name into the computer and when I asked for her first initial she said WHY.  Well I had said back because I have to put this info in my computer.  Again she says Why.  This goes on for a couple of minutes and then I clue in she is saying Y not Why and what a dumbass I am for that.  RIBIT! RIBIT! THWAK!  You know the comedy act of Abbot and Costelloo were who is on first and what is on second.  Well thats what it sounded like.  I haven't been left off the hook for that one yet.  A another person was working with me at the time and watched the whole thing.  She does keep reminding of it every now and then.

You know there are other times when I just can't remember how to get onto the computer.  I do it everyday, but sometimes you just look at the thing and say..OKAY now what.  I have numbers to put in there and they just don't want to come to me.  Well give me a minute. Oh good the phone is ringing I can answer this while I figure out what else the hell I should be doing.  Good morning Please tell me how I can help you.  I lost all my sense here and want to get them back before I go nutty all together.   Oh sorry thank you for calling  How can I help you..  Yes this is the store you are looking for.  I'm just lost my sense of reality for a minute here.  RIBIT! RIBIT! THWAK!

Sometimes at home I'm sure the walls move in this place. How many times has a wall reached out and grabbed me or given me a big bruise on my hand because it wasn't in that place yesterday.  I'm sure it was two feet over from were it was yesterday.  But low and behold I run into it again today.  Dang does that hurt.  And I still haven't learned.  Those little green frogs I think have something to do with it.  They will lean on your shoulders and make you walk a little sideways and closer to something so you walk into it.  They have such long tounges and can grab onto anything and pull it over closer to you so you hit it on the way by.  Well it certainly can't be me.  I walk perfectly straight you know.  I don't need a cane yet.  I'm too young to be using a cane.  Well that's what I say but those green frogs could be right you know.

You are walking along and it takes longer and longer to get from one room to the other. Just because the walls are moving and you can't get there in a straight line. You are so frogged up that you are heading for one room and end up someplace totally different and don't even know why you should be there.  So turn around retrace your steps to figure out what the hell you do need and it still doesn't come to you.  So the easiest thing to do is go sit down somewere and worry youself to death that you just might be going crazy afterall.  Well I know I am a little crazy but this much I don't know about that.

I would just love to crawl under the covers and never come out again.  Life doesn't give me that option though.  I know I have to keep moving and such but WHY!  I like it here under the covers were no one can see me and I am not bothered by frogs.

I know you may have a different opinion of how crazy I am.

I still function great but there is just sometimes were I am frogged down.  I think that is when that frog eats too much.  My brain just seems to go to mush.  I can sit somewere and just seem to go off into la la land.  My hubbie looks at me but I don't really see him.. Just staring straight ahead and not doing a dang thing.  He talkes to me and I don't hear a dang thing.  Well he calls it selective hearing. (yeah me too but I'm not going to admit it) For some reason I am just focussed on something on the other wall.  Maybe the frog is doing a strip tease over there.  I don't know but it is sure facinaing to me.

Well I guess it is time to get ready for work again.  Fun stuff you know.  See what trouble me and my frogs can get into tonight.

RIBIT! RIBIT THWAK! THWAK!

no more whining they say, So lets see what I can come up with instead.

Well I decided that it is time to stop the whining and get on with my life.

Well easier said then done.  I took the arthritis self help program here this past few weeks.  Gave me a little insight and now I have to be able to put it into practice.

Well the first one is relaxation.  Not an easy thing to do.  Sit for a while and meditate.  Okay.  I  find a confortable position and close my eyes.  Usually laying on the floor on a mat.  Listen to some relaxing music and go into a daze.  Stiffen every muscle on my body and then let it loosen to feel the tention go out of my body.  and remember to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.  Letting all the bad out.  It does feel pretty good but when I open my eyes again I see two sets of brown eyes staring at me wondering if I am okay.Then the slobbering starts. Then they want to play.  You know how many toys are scattered around me. So you got to throw all of them at least once.

These are my dogs.  Rocky and Boots.  Both playful little things that just love to be near you all the time.  You sit in a chair at the computer.  They are under your feet.  You go to the kitchen and they are right there to make sure you don't drop anything on the floor.  I hope they just follow because they love me.  Then you head to the livingroom to sit and watch some tv.  There they are again right on your lap enjoying having a belly scratch or just to stare at you intently.  I love these two.  They are the best I can have for love without any boundries.

Bed at night.  This is a workout in itself.  Especially if you have two dogs that just love to sleep close.  First I have to get into a position were I am comfortable.  You know the pretzel i have to trun into so that there is minor aches and pains. One leg straight down while I am laying on my side.  The other leg bent out to the side and bent at the knee.  This make an h shape for me.  Then I have to be half turned at the waist so that my back isn't bothering me so I am almost on my back and shoulder doesn't hurt too much.  Then my arms stretched out in front of me.  Sometimes they are under my head.  Either way they both fall asleep before I get to sleep.  Now the dogs get involved.  They sleep with me as well.  I know, I know,  Shouldn't sleep with your dogs.  They should have their own place to sleep.  But i like the warmth of them.  So anyways.  One sleep between my leg and the other takes up residence in front of my belly.  Part way through the night it is time to make a bathroom trip.  So now I have toget out of the pretzel position and around the dogs.  You know you can't distube the dogs at night  So you slowly pull one leg away from between the dogs and put them bothe together.  Then you slide onto your backl and pull youself up to the top of the bed, lift your legs over the dogs and slide out of bed.  Stmble to the bathroom because you forgot to bring your cane into the bedroom to use at night when your legs are stiff.  Then stumble back to the bed and sit on your pillow.  Roll you legs back over the first dog.  Slide down into the bed and then move back into prtzel position.  Sliding one leg into front of one dog and sliding other leg behind the dog.  You know they don't even move a little bit,  Jut kinda look at you like what are you doing then go back to sleep.  And my thinking still being do not disturb the dogs or your hubby for that fact just to go to the bathroom.

Well heres another thing I am suppose to do.  Exercise.  Keeps the body moving.   Okay. first I would really just love not to move, but that is not an option, or I would stiffen up even more.  So trying to do some stretching.  Yeah on the floor.  A little yoga into the action.  Put the mat on the floor and guess what a dog moves into it.  Layes right down in the center of my mat.  I shoo him away than the other one thinks it is time to get into the action.  I am part way through a stretch of a dog position.  You know were you are on you feet and leaning forward to have your hands on the floor.  you look back at your feet and there is a dog sitting in the middle of the mat looking at you like are you okay or what.  Then he decides it is time to lik my face.  What a way to throw you off balance.  Another time I am laying on my back and you know that is time to play.  Arm stretching out and a dog grabs for it.  Figures I should have a toy to throw.  So you get rid of the toy and back it comes again.  So much for stretching. Its play time instead.  So you move off the mat to paly with the toy with them and they prompbly move onto the mat and lay down.  Curl up together and Look at me like WHAT were you thinking.

I guess I am only human.  But if I could be more like a dog I could get away with allot more then what I get away with now